It seems almost every group of people or ethnic group claims to be discriminated against these days. And to be fair, many of those claims are valid. They are offended by this or they are offended by that. The list goes on and on. Where does it all end? But there is one group of us who have been discriminated against since the beginning of time. We go about our daily business and never complain, even if we are the most discriminated minority in the world.
Throughout history we have often been looked at sort of sideways by some folks. During the Middle Ages we had to keep our identities secret or face the consequences. If we were exposed, they accused us all sorts of boogerosity {I just made that word up. I can do that. I’m lefthanded} including being witches and demons. Mark of the devil! How many times have you heard that one applied to something or someone who didn’t fit the mold?
In some rare incidences we were given a chance to mend our evil ways, but all to often we were taken to the town square and burned at the stake. Ouch! Oddly that stigma, as archaic as it might be, still exists today. They don’t burn us at the stake anymore but we are often accused of “writing with the wrong hand.” Nothing like standing at the checkout line at Wal Mart and somebody you never saw before, looks over your shoulder and says, ‘you’re using the wrong hand to write that check.” Give me a break. Go write your own check
We lefties have a lot famous people in our camp too. Alexander the Great was left-handed as was John Dillinger. Mississippi Pulitzer Prize winner Eudora Welty was left-handed and there have been eight left-handed presidents. Ronald Reagan was my second favorite left-handed person in the whole world.
If you are right-handed, and the odds are eight to one that you are, you might wonder what all the fuss is about. I won’t attempt to list all the things we lefties have had to adapt to, but think about this. When was the last time you saw a left-handed butter knife? What does a left-handed butter knife have to do with the issue? If you were left-handed you would know. Ask one of the clerks at Wal Mart if they have left-handed butter knives and see what kind of look you get.
It’s a right-handed world out there and most of us lefties have made the adjustment and are doing just fine. But it wasn’t easy. Remember the desks in school where you sat down and the arm of the desk wrapped around you and your right hand fit perfectly for a day of reading, writing and rithmatic? It wasn’t that simple for that other twelve percent of us. We had to either sit sideways with our bodies so contorted that by the end of the day we couldn’t walk straight, or straddle the post of the desk so our left hand could reach the top of the desk. Not a lot of dignity in that maneuver! Almost all the tools are designed for righties, and then there is the matter of scissors. Sure you can buy left-handed scissors but what’s the use? Most of us have already learned to use the right-handed models. But it took a while. Sometime you just have to make do with what you have.
I am not complaining in the least. Being left-handed has its advantages. We live in our own world in one sense. Ironically, we belong to a fraternity that can discriminate and get away with it. Not even the United States Supreme Court can dictate who is allowed to join. You were either born into it or you weren’t. Forget it ACLU. You ain’t got a prayer with this one.
According to those who have nothing better to do than study human behavior, (most of them are probably right-handed, we lefties were too busy creating and adapting) left-handed people think with the right side of the brain, which is the creative side. That could explain why John Dillinger was such a creative bank robber. It could also explain why Benjamin Franklin was so good at flying kites and Leonardo da Vinci was perhaps the greatest artist and inventor of all time.
Most of the lefties I know, including myself, wouldn’t switch to being right-handed if they could. Speaking for myself, if I were given the opportunity to conform, I would prefer to continue to be looked at sideways. It’s actually kind of fun. But on the other hand, (no pun intended) I would not wish this curse on my children or grandchildren either. I happened to have a left-handed granddaughter who is my very favorite left-handed person in the whole world. Who by the way is perfect in every way including being left-handed. But please don’t look at her sideways. She has enough to put up with at Wal Mart as she it trying to write her check.
Ralph Gordon is a Past President Mississippi Writers Guild and a recipient of the William Faulkner Literary Award.You may contact Ralph Gordon at rgordon512@hotmail.com.
