It’s amazing to me to know people from all walks of life who have lived through trials that would make any other person feel as if hope was lost. And yet, these same people continue to survive and thrive while helping other people move through their own struggles.
One of the most common questions in life is, “What is my purpose?” Another question is, “How do I find happiness?” If I had a nickel for every person in the world who had these questions, I would be very rich. These
questions are at the heart of the work of counselors, therapists, ministers, and a multitude of other caring individuals who seek to help people solve or understand life’s questions.
In recent years, a study was performed on a worldwide scale. This study looked at people from young adults to older adults. It also included the poorest of the poor to the very rich. The main question was, “Are you happy?” Many people assumed that the people who appear ‘have it all’ would likely answer the previous question with “Yes.” However, the opposite was found to be true. The poorest of the poor were found to be more likely to answer “Yes” that they were happy.
It’s human nature to look in the distance for happiness, especially when times are hard. A modern psychologist, Robert Holden, PhD, gives an important warning, “Beware of destination addiction — a preoccupation with the idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job, and with the next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are.”
The results of the previous study and quote can be applied to our lives. How? People choose to be happy in spite of their circumstances.
Viktor Frankl, a world-renowned psychiatrist, became who he became because of being a survivor of the Holocaust. He experienced atrocities and saw horrific things happen to loved ones. At the point of understanding that his captors had control of their circumstances, he realized that they could not control what happened inside his mind and heart. He then determined that it was he that could choose to be a peace. He was quoted as saying, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” Frankl also stated, “Those who have a ‘WHY’ to live, can bear almost any ‘HOW.’”
Frankl has helped us recognize a key to happiness by reminding us that our circumstances don’t determine our happiness. If we spend our time looking for happiness, it will be elusive. If we search for meaning, we will find happiness.
So, if you have times when you wonder if happiness is always running away from you, remember that this happens to the best people in the world. As you look to find happiness, refocus your search for meaning in your circumstances and know that you have the ability built into your mind and heart to determine how you look at your situation.
Though it may be difficult, remember that you move forward on the road of life, one step at a time. You will gain strength as you remind yourself that your heart and mind belong to you. You are the one who can take the steering wheel back and find the road to meaning. You can do this!
Spencer Blalock, DHA, LCSW, BCD, is a clinical specialist with Senior Care — a service of Rush Health Systems. If you are a senior adult struggling with anxiety, depression or grief and/or are struggling with coping with daily living, Senior Care can offer help and hope. Call 601-703-4917 or look up rushhealthsystems.org/seniorcare for more information.
