Trust.
It’s unknown to some, barely familiar to others and a lost concept for a few.
It’s a fearful thing … unless you really do it.
Real trust requires being at peace with that decision, even if the outcome is not what we desired.
I’ve trusted people eagerly and been sorely, devastatingly let down.
And I’ve trusted people hesitantly at first and been wonderfully surprised.
Sometimes, it’s happened with the same person.
Possessions stolen and relationships marred by trust that didn’t go my way.
Possessions restored and relationships mended by trust that did.
I’ve experienced both.
I discovered from experience a long time ago that I cannot control what anyone else thinks, feels, says or does. Noone. I can only control myself, and that is a difficult thing in itself.
I’ve reminded my children and others of this when someone angered, hurt or disappointed them. I’ve reminded myself of it in those cases, too.
I trusted a couple who rented a house from me years ago, when the rent they paid me went straight to pay the bank for the mortgage, as I was a student a couple hours’ drive away. I came home one weekend to find the house empty, appliances stolen and no rent, of course. I had to pursue legal action to reclaim my property, but the financial damage and physical damage to my property hurt. A lot.
It took me a long time to forgive them and free myself from the burden of withholding forgiveness.
I trusted a different couple with that same house prior to the ones who attempted to disappear like ghosts. This other couple surprised me in a different way.
They paid their rent early, even as they were actively searching for a home to purchase in that school district. They made small repairs that came up during the week, and only let me cover materials costs. They improved my landscaping, shampooed the carpets and even repainted several of the rooms — all with my permission. By the time they moved out, my house was a sight better than the day they moved in.
Talk about leaving a place better than when you found it.
It’s a shame the following couple literally destroyed a lot of that work.
I hope they have grown since that experience. I know I have. I have so much further to go, but I am grateful for having survived that experience with the help and guidance of God.
I could give more examples of trust betrayed and trust strengthened, but I don’t think that’s necessary. I just want to remind you, and perhaps myself, that there are people out there right now who are not worthy of your trust and many more who are. You will be fooled by some — not because you are weak or gullible, but because they are good at fooling people.
If your trust is betrayed, it’s OK to be upset about it. But you must not dwell there. Learn from it, let it go and move on.
I’m not still angry at the couple who stole from me back then. But if I owned another rental house and they asked me to rent it, I would deny the request. I have learned, and they must learn, our actions have consequences.
But I’d rather trust someone and regret it … than never extend myself to trust in the first place.
Whoever I’m writing this for who needs to hear it, trust yourself to trust again. Learn, move on, but don’t abandon hope.
Trust, and pray you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
Brett Campbell can be reached at ChunkyBrett@mail.com.
