My dad and I disagree about a lot of things. We have different ideas on the meaning of life, on religion, on morality, on politics, on social roles and individual freedoms. We disagree a lot, and since I seem to have inherited his stubbornness – yes, you are, ask mom – our disagreements rarely end in a lasting solution.
Last week, I got to thinking about dad and all the things I’ve learned from him. He’s not sick or anything; it was a sticking lock on the office door. It was easy enough to fix. A quick trip to Lowes to grab a bottle of graphite powder, a couple puffs and the lock was good as new.
But how did I know graphite powder would work? Dad taught me.
When the conversation turns to what we learn from our parents, my mind usually blanks. My dad is a staunch conservative. I’m very much not. My dad looks to the church as a sanctuary, a place to rest and recharge after a long week. I see it as a chore.
I see these differences, and my first impression is that I didn’t learn anything from my dad. We’re nothing alike.
Except we are, and I did. My dad taught me a lot.
My dad taught me how to change the oil in my car and how to bleed brake lines. He taught me how to coast the car in the ditch when the brakes fail and how to list the car on craigslist when the engine seizes from no oil.
My dad taught me how to get a library card and find good books. He taught me how to dig said library card out of soggy jeans in the dryer and how paying the book fine is easier than explaining I accidently dropped the book in the bathtub.
My dad taught me how to give mom a break by cooking dinner and setting the table. He taught me how to use a fire extinguisher and how to get the pizza guy to meet me at the gas station down the street so none was the wiser.
My dad taught me how to build a fire, swing an axe and change a tire. He taught me to share what I have with those less fortunate and to be kind, even when others aren’t. He taught me how to be true to myself, that compromising my own morals was worse than being shunned by the crowd.
I don’t know why it took me 30 years to figure all this out, and I’m not entirely clear on why I’m writing about it now. I do know my dad taught me a lot, and it wasn’t the nature of the universe, the meaning of life or how to be a man. It was the little things.
He taught me what I needed to know to become my own person and how to use YouTube to figure out the rest.
Mom taught me how to fold towels. She says dad gets it wrong.
Thomas Howard is the managing editor of The Newton County Appeal. He can be reached at thoward@newtoncountyappeal.com
