Two years ago, the #MeToo movement popped out of nowhere, at least, that’s how it appeared to me. At first, I was taken aback. I vaguely remember the Clinton impeachment, my dad chuckling at a newspaper headline dubbing the scandal “zippergate,” but I had always assumed sexual assault was uncommon. It was a crime, like murder, overblown by Hollywood, scary but unlikely to happen to anyone I knew.
But it had happened to people I knew, and consciously or subconsciously I made the decision to ignore that. I went blissfully about my life pretending everything was great. Then came #MeToo.
I think the first thing #MeToo showed me was how egregiously common sexual assault is in our society. The big names, Weinstein, Cosby, R. Kelly, were the main focus of the media outlets I follow, but I couldn’t help notice how those big-name instances were just a drop in the bucket, a few famous names amongst a sea of women sharing their #MeToo stories.
Then, the internet did what the internet does. Like sharks to a wounded dolphin, the internet trolls came to have their day. Some women were lying. Men are victims of sexual assault as well. Why did they wait so long to tell someone?
Good points. True points. Irrelevant points. Using just enough truth to slide under the radar, these trolls did a fantastic job offering the insecure or even culpable men amongst us a scapegoat to avoid facing the harsh truth the #MeToo movement had unmasked.
Yet the #MeToo movement had piqued my interest. Who am I kidding? I was mad. At first, I was mad at the movement itself for shattering my cushy self-delusion, ripping away my denial and ignorance and forcing me to see something I didn’t want to see. Then, my anger turned toward Hollywood, the elitist, pseudo-liberal, propaganda makers that pretend to be all high and mighty when they’re really just a den of rapists and abusers. When in doubt, blame others.
As more and more industries, more men, more stories of #MeToo came to light, I had to stop blaming and look at what men were really doing. It doesn’t paint of very generous picture of my sex.
I don’t blame my fellow men for trying to find a way out, trying to distance themselves from those called out by #MeToo. Like running across a snake in the woods, I think it’s natural to recoil a bit.
At the same time, I think the time to jump back is up. It’s time to jump in. In fact, it’s what we should’ve done long ago. It’s a difficult thing to ask, I know. It’s uncomfortable, awkward and it means doing something men don’t do very well, giving up control.
Still, I believe the vast majority of men are decent, hardworking people who abhor sexual violence, yet the very existence of the #MeToo movement is testament to men’s failure. It’s past time we join in helping find a solution.
Thomas Howard is the managing editor of The Newton County Appeal. He can be reached at thoward@newtoncountyappeal.com
